We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
