ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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