You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
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I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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