Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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