I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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