In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
