I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
