Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
