i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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