In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
