im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
