thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
