God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
