Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
