She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
