your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
