Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
