Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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