scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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