so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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