I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
