I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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