apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
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I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Two words: blizzard sex
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize