i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
