im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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