That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
