You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
