"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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