Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
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