i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize