You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
