Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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