Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
