im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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