i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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