I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
