She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
