PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
