East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
