Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can vaginas get frostbite?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
