That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
