i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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