you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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