If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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