conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i drank out of a bidet.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
