so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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