dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We left an ass print on the piano.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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