do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
