It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
