tell your sister to shave her snatch
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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