Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
