He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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