I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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